The journal lets you write about a day from your life.
The photo on the left shows what Jeff Harris was doing on that day.
June 18, 2008
I visited the doctor, I was suffering from a clogged ear. I was diagnosed with "Surfers Ear" which is the common name for exostosis (abnormal bone growth) within the ear canal. Over time irritation from cold wind and water cause the bone surrounding the ear canal to develop lumps of new bony growth which constrict the ear canal. The condition is so named due to its prevalence among cold water surfers. Surfer's ear is not the same as swimmer's ear. The condition can occur in any activity with cold, wet, windy conditions such as kayaking, sailing, diving, etc. The condition is progressive, making it important to take preventative measures early. I fear my only cure is to have my ear canals bored open with a drill. Yikes!
June 17, 2008
I don't know anything about myself anymore. I keep seeing faint glimmers of what I'd like to be, but it never lasts and my feelings are only becoming fewer and farther between. I feel more and more separated from the things and people I used to love, and have realized even recently that all of my previous interests and motivations were pointless and stagnant to begin with. I've never felt so lost and grown up at the same time. Things are drifting and I don't know how to bring them back together, or if it even matters. I think I need help.
June 14, 2008
Everyone I know is either getting married, engaged or having kids. I chose a career instead. Now I'm the stylish little bitch with a nice apartment and a boyfriend. I can't make him propose, and now I can't help but wonder if anyone could ever love me enough to ask?
June 5, 2008
I sewed my own wedding dress today. I can't stand all those poofy, white, overblown and overpriced wedding dresses, it's a big racket and I refuse to take part in it. Screw you industrial wedding complex, I'm doing it my way.
May 31, 2008
I think I've discovered that there is a mutual "I am attracted to you" between me and someone else, but this has never happened to me before and I think I just will never have that kind of relationship ever, because I don't know what to do.
May 22, 2008
I went to school. Bored. Felt like jumping off cliff. Story of my life. I'm writing this trying to procrastinate (sp?). My homework is on the life of Jeffrey Harris. Listening to Linkin Park. Thinking about how I hate it when people mispronounce my name. It's SO-FIRE, bitches!!!!!!!! Sorry. My life sucks. Sorry. Felt bad about swearing. :) I'm so tired and feel bad about missing out on netball practice this morning. My legs don't feel like my legs. It is a cold winter's day...
May 16, 2008
I looked up my entry for May 19th 2007. And I cried. I love my daughter so much - I can't express that love. Everyday she overwhelms me. How can I have been so lucky?
April 30, 2008
Yesterday i found out that I have a disease with no cure. I cried for a minute. I guess the good news is I won't die from it. But now I have to live with this inside of me. Who will love me now? I can feel the virus in my body, in my blood - the blood that feeds my brain, my heart, all my organs. I'll never forget waking up and the first thing that I hear, "good morning, there is no cure for you."
April 23, 2008
My parents are getting a divorce. I think I'm sad but I'm more confused at not feeling sure about what to feel.
April 16, 2008
I need more of him in my week. But I am the one when there's no one else to have dinner with. I miss him and he's so busy with everyone else but me. Enough.
March 31, 2008
I'm coming to grips with the fact that my two little sisters will both be married before I even have another boyfriend.
March 14, 2008
Wollte gerade die Spülmaschine einräumen, bis ich merkte, dass das Salz Alle war. Hab das Salz und den Spültab nachgefüllt und die Spülmaschine eingeschalten. Was für banale Dinge des Tages.
March 1, 2008
I miss Ben. I should learn to walk with my eyes open to grab the moments. When he comes back from his travel, I will throw him against the wall and kiss him.
February 3, 2008
I keep waiting for him to hurt me and somehow he hasn't. Maybe I'm used to dating guys who treat me like shit. Everyone says that he is kind and good to me and that I should relax and trust that he will not hurt me. i still am nervous as hell. Tonight he didn't call me, maybe I should go back to my low expectations.
January 30, 2008
I booked my flight today. In one month I will be in Munich, and for one week I will get to curl up under her covers and feel her skin against mine again. I hope that this time I am on my best behaviour, that things don't get as tense as they did on the Nova Scotia trip. This will be my first trip across an ocean, I want to come back with fond memories...
January 6, 2008
The worst news - he is getting married to someone he just met and dated for a couple of weeks. I feel like my wasted heart has been plunged with a cold, icy thorn. Why was I pinning for him for so long, believing he belongs to me?
January 1, 2008
I hurt my back lifting equipment to finish building my new carport... which was finished 2 days later, but my back still hurts.
December 25, 2007
We're not supposed to have a lot of Christmases left together, you know, because he is sick. Or maybe we will. You know what? We will. Because I've started believing in miracles again.
December 19, 2007
Today I'm sitting in class and we're supposed to be working, but I'm looking up info on Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy.
December 17, 2007
At 6am this morning a co-worker and I had to shovel for 45 minutes through shoulder high snow drifts to get to the front door of our office. I guess I must like my job.
December 11, 2007
My boyfriend has never once told me he loves me, and then tonight he tells me he wants to marry me...
December 8, 2007
My soon to be ex-husband and I had a great time in Pasadena, but now I'm on my way to leaving the desert forever... he filed for divorce in November. I just want to eat as much breakfast as possible and then fly through security and get on the plane... or do I? I am so disturbed.
November 29, 2007
I suddenly feel this sharp yearning for Rick Krispies cereal. Why? I don't even like Rice Krispies.
November 26, 2007
Today my son was arrested by the SWAT team, and had three rifles with scopes pointed at his head. I had played that terror in my head a million times, and it's only by the grace of God I wasn't there to scream a mothers worst gut-wrenching scream of fear and nothing-but-survival panic. This is the end of all my hopes and dreams for him... the end of the denial that everything will turn around. He will face the consequences now, and I only hope that he will find the divine self within him to survive it. Mercy for all of us, no exceptions; we need it so.
November 17, 2007
Today I went back to school eighteen years after graduating from high school. I was so scared, however with encouragment from my ten year old daughter, I made it through the day. I can tell that she will be my biggest cheerleader. She has already told me how proud she is of me. I hope that once I have earned my R.N. Degree, my daughter will see that you can acomplish anything you put your mind to.
November 15, 2007
My husband is going back to Iraq. Hopefully he'll give me the divorce papers before he leaves. His girlfriend can worry about him this time around. i'm done with him.
October 12, 2007
I had my work leaving party today. My best friend bought me lunch and then came out for drinks later. It occurred to me that perhaps if things were different he'd be more than my best friend. We have a connection and I love him to pieces. He wrote the nicest thing in my goodbye card. I think he could well be my soul mate...
October 11, 2007
I finally realised that 41 years of having a stepfather is better than having no father at all, so I'd better hurry up and make amends.
October 7, 2007
I got married today. It rained all day and stopped for the 20 minutes we had our ceremony and then it picked up again. But the rain stopped for us, at just the right time. It sounds strange but i think that means the sky was approving of us getting hitched.
September 25, 2007
I parked in the reserved parking lot at work without a parking pass. After work, I didn't feed the parking meter, as I had forgotten my coin purse and I was running late for my appointment. I didn't get a parking ticket either time. I think I will buy a lottery ticket tomorrow.
