The journal lets you write about a day from your life.
The photo on the left shows what Jeff Harris was doing on that day.
October 12, 2003
Today my mom gave me the talk that she was no doubt given when she met my dad. Holidays are meant to be spent with family and now that I have two families to share, I can not be in two places at once. Although she said she would be sad if I wasn't around for the next holiday, she said she would understand. I guess we can mark this down as the next step to adulthood.
October 10, 2003
My second son turned two weeks old today. While I was running, I realized I'm the father of two children. Man, does that feel strange.
October 7, 2003
My friend told me she and her partner are "having problems." She feels terrible, and I feel bad for her. So why do I still have a strange sense of euphoria and energy when I think about this? I think it's a combination of 'Thank God it's not me' and the realization that there is more to the world than my small radius and my problems. Other people are hurting, dammit! I need to stop obsessing and start caring.
October 4, 2003
Went to a blues festival, played some pool, built a big fire in the woods, drank a lot of wine, and danced. Fell back in love with life.
October 2, 2003
Today I spent an hour or so in the Library at the National Baseball Hall of Fame researching players who were killed in baseball games. I found a list of several dozen players killed while playing professional baseball, including those who had been hit in the skull by a ball, hit in the chest by the ball, collided with a teammate, been hit by lightning, and even one who caught a fly ball while running onto a track and was run over by the train. Fans have died too -- falling out of the stands, being hit by baseballs, in knife-fights, shootings, construction accidents, and choking to death on hot dogs.
September 28, 2003
Today, for the first time in a very long time, I woke up without tears in my eyes.
September 26, 2003
"Nothing self-inflicted hurts like an accident." The words kind of came out of my mouth while I was talking to Tracy. I was speaking about her new tattoo, but in the days that followed, the phrase took on a whole new meaning.
September 24, 2003
A blackbelt told me to disregard the notion that long winters are the reason for depression amongst Canadians. Sunshine comes from inside.
September 20, 2003
Andrew and I bought 7 grams of marijuana, but he took .8 grams more out of my share. We argued and I punched him. He wasn’t expecting that, and now I have my .8 grams but no friend.
September 18, 2003
Where to go to college?? ...I just don't know. Too many decisions, and definitely not enough time. But when I have doubts about my future, I just think about the dean of students at my highschool... he was a cocaine addict, and is now the Minnesota Vikings Mascot (and not to mention a real ass). I can't really go wrong, can I?
September 17, 2003
Today I decided to give up hard alcohol for 1 year. I turned 33 yesterday and made the mistake of telling the bartender it was my birthday. I am so sick. If I make it through today, I promise to remember this lesson. This time it'll be different.
September 14, 2003
I wore an Egyptian gown and explained what music was like in the Middle East 2,000 years ago to somewhat bored children. I kept trying to get a good sound out of the ram's horn, but it sounded like someone giving the bird (in a tunnel). I'm forty years old and I still do things like this.
September 12, 2003
I just had the most amazing first date. The guy is perfect in mind, body and soul. So why is it that as I drove home, I was drawn to drive past the house of my ex who hurt me mentally and physically, and wish that I was with him?
September 10, 2003
It should have been a sad day. My wife told me recently that she wants a divorce now I'm told I'm losing my job. It is dark outside, raining heavily and the temperature has dropped. I saw a girl on the tram today. Her eyes were translucent blue, as if someone was shining a torch through the darkness. She looked at my face then her eyes dropped. I instinctively looked down to my chest to see if there was a trace of the light...
September 9, 2003
Black clouds hung low in the sky, and an unfamiliar humidity suffused the air. It rained on one side of the street but not other. Later the wind came up and tossed me around as I walked down the sidewalk. All the concrete protections we surround ourselves with felt very illusory, and I was aware of how small I am in the face of nature.
September 8, 2003
I have diarrhea today. I went poo 7 times.
September 7, 2003
I mowed the grass today and saw a feather from a small bird that died last month. We had watched it's parents raise it up and leave the nest. They were such a happy family. I don't know why it died. I found the small bird lying under the tree, it's mother was up on the fence watching it. Neither the mother nor the father bird has returned since that day.
September 6, 2003
Saw someone who looked remarkably like Jeff Harris at the Summerhill Liquor Store - though never having seen him in person I can not be sure... it would have helped if he had a camera slung over his shoulder.
September 5, 2003
Tonight I dreamt of being a writer again. I'm done the first week of classes and already I'm filled with this total "fuck the world" attitude. All I want to do is get organic and forget it all. I was soo excited to get back to my Physics but now I sit in my 3-person classes bored as hell and wondering what the fuck any of this has to do with anything. Who fucking cares about rotation matrices??
September 1, 2003
It all started at about 5:30am... Finn, my six week old son had to go to hospital for an emergency operation that had to be fitted in whenever. We got there at 8:00am and were told we'd be going in "around 30 mins from now". 12 hours of sitting on a metal chair later... Almost a whole day of his screaming for food we eventually went outside... I went to call the parents on mobile phone and when I switched it on it rang. It was the hospital "can we return to the ward?" About 35 seconds later we found that Finn needed a lot more surgery than previously thought. I returned him just in time for me to go to work, the night shift at 9:00pm. After work I returned to the ward. I relieved her of some bags and went home to sleep only to find I had also relieved her of her house keys... I couldn't leave the door open while I'm asleep and I unplugged the house phone as we still haven't rang round letting people know what's up... Why is it that some times thing just turn to such shite????
August 31, 2003
My friend tried to set me up with her cousin. You know the first thing that came to my mind when she told me? That he has an apartment about two blocks away from my office. I could move in. Problem solved! Fuck a relationship. I need an apartment. Phew. And I thought my life was getting complicated.
August 29, 2003
My ex-roomate wants me to adopt his one-eyed neurotic cat because he is moving back to Germany. I know the cat loves me more than anyone in the world but I'm just not a cat person. (I never told the cat or my ex-roomate this).
August 27, 2003
As usual I had 4 shots of espresso before getting on the bus, and then the short cup'o'joe upon arrival at the workplace. To help the coffee go down I chowed on some super rich chocolate squares and a bag of popcorn. Someone finally made a new pot of coffee, which I am presently pouring into my giant Wonder Woman coffee holder (aka mug for heros). I have been having trouble sleeping lately.
August 26, 2003
Today I came home from work early because I was feeling narcoleptic. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to find out what's going on.
August 25, 2003
I was sleeping at my Aunt and Uncle's home far away from mine. It was early in the morning and I woke from the most amazing dream I have ever had. The devil's servant was Donald Sutherland and God was a Native American in a beige plaid suit with a camera. That's all I will say for now.
August 24, 2003
Today I heard Stan Rogers' "Barrett's Privateers" 5 times on CBC Radio! Is anybody even awake at CBC radio? Didn't anyone else notice? I e-mailed "This Morning" about it and the producer promptly replied that she "didn't know the song". Smart ass. Today I'm turning off the radio and buying a bunch of Elvis Costello CDs.
August 23, 2003
I went to see the Jeff Harris exhibit at Pikto. A picture says a 1,642 words in Jeff's case! I feel like I've known him after the exhibit. A couple of pix from the 2001 series reminded me of my first love, Julian, who really broke my heart. And I cried but nevertheless I *loved* the exhibit. Brilliant!
August 22, 2003
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" Jacob asked. This from the boy I didn't ever expect to hear this from. I chuckled. Then, I full out laughed. Then, I couldn't stop laughing. Maybe it was out of nervousness, but mostly it was just surprise. He looked hurt and all he said is, "I'm leaving. I have to go."
August 18, 2003
This is the second day of my hangover.
August 14, 2003
This was the day the power went out. I felt like I was living in a vaccum - no contact with the outside world. No phone, no radio, it was weird... like living in the Twilight Zone... this became more evident as day turned into night.
August 12, 2003
Got my haircut by Ricardo today at Vidal Sassoon. He kept calling me the wrong name. I now look like Isodora meets Velvet Goldmine meets Ziggy Stardust!
August 11, 2003
Saw a couple having sex in the hallway corner of my office building. My skin felt prickly... like my body knew that I should share in the moment. I decided to go home for lunch that day.
